Hi there,
Coming at you with a classic conundrum: What logic pretzels are required to characterize energy drinks as a health product? Sure, maybe “they’re made with ingredients you can pronounce” or “they cause fewer heart palpitations than the alternatives.” But wouldn’t we all be healthier just not drinking them at all?
Fueled by curiosity, LA-based writer Annakeara Stinson crushed some Celsius and gave us her unique perspective on the fraught world of energy drinks.
Buckle up!
The Prism Team
Annakeara is an-LA based writer whose debut novel, Nerve Damage, is forthcoming from Knopf in 2026. One thing that makes Annakeara feel well: nine to 12 hours of sleep.
To Celsius or Not to Celsius?
Some months ago I was headed on a hike with my friend Nora in the Angeles forest. It was hot and we were looking for a waterfall, and the hike we chose had a beautiful natural pool. It was just a good 3.5 miles of moderately difficult terrain before then, and we were both feeling low. Nora said she knew how we could change that — which sounded, of course, like she was about to slip out a baggie of coke from the heel of her beige HOKAs. Instead, she pulled a u-ey into a Mobil station and came out with two thin white beverage cans. Energy drinks. I made a face of disgust but took a few sips. Then a few more.
Cut to: the two of us jogging on the trail, adroitly discussing politics, film, attachment theory, bathing joyfully beneath a waterfall, then returning to the car with life force to spare. Celsius! A wonder drug!
As a result of this profound caffeinated experience, I bought my very first case. Now, energy drinks were a popular alternative in my recovery community, particularly when I first got sober in 2013. I would find myself at what I believed to be devastatingly lame “sober events” where youths would be rippin’ JUULs and downing Monsters until they were speaking in tongues. I always had a bias against these drinks, and found them, ironically, too unhealthy to imbibe. (To stave off my binge drinking habit, I stuck with the classic: Nan Goldin’s let’s-ignore-the-cause-of-my-dad’s-emphysema cocktail of coffee and cigs.)
Post Super Hike, I was excited to find an energizing beverage that made me feel less mentally tweaky than coffee. But my excitement was short-lived. After a high-flyin’ week of drinking them daily, it caught up with me. I drank one before I went for a jog then got mild…heart palpitations. This seemed a rather extreme effect for a beverage so ubiquitous and easy to access, but I didn’t want to give up on my new bev so easily, so I went searching for some reassurance.